Submitting your work is part of the process of being a writer. But the sting of getting a “no thanks” never goes away entirely. We asked four writers how they handle it—and how you can, too.
I keep moving on. There's no time to waste. I recently had a piece rejected nine times, and it finally found a home. It's hard not to take it personally, but then again, different colors were made for different tastes. Following the guidelines of a publication does not guarantee it'll be published. Also, being part of a writing group helps. Not too long ago, a top editor said in an online class, "Submitting a piece is like going to a casino and placing a bet." I'll never forget that.
This was so helpful, Jesse! My immediate instinct with a rejection is to mentally set the piece aside and move on to something else for my peace of mind, especially if it’s one that, as in your case, I wrote with a specific outlet in mind and thought it had a good chance. After a while (sometimes weeks, months, occasionally years), I’ll go back to the piece and try to brainstorm other publications that might be a good fit and remind myself that if I still feel good about it, it’s worth sending out again just to have it in the mix.
I also subscribe to many newsletters that feature calls for submissions and try to use those as research to expand where I’m submitting my work or might submit it.
It’s easier with finished essay drafts but I once pitched an article I was so excited about, on sticker collecting, and got so many rejections I almost gave up but eventually got a yes from Glamour.
Rachel! I love all of this so much. I often do something similar, set a piece aside and then get back out there when I'm ready. I like your submission expansion idea, that's great. And your Glamour story is so inspiring. (Also, sticker collecting! I'm going to have to go find that piece to read. 😉)
I have a "Rejections are Feedback" board and I get excited every time I get to add a new icon. So far I've got three red X's up there from my first batch of book proposal queries.
Editors don’t usually speak from the other side like this. This is gold.
I think rejection only hits hard in two cases:
1. You’re chasing the label: money, fame, or the “I’m a writer” aesthetic.
2. You’ve poured out your guts. Shared something raw. Like telling a new partner all your trauma, only to hear: “Yeah… this isn’t gonna work.”
What bugs me is how normalized rejection has become. Pros talk about it, newbies echo it. Like it’s part of the rite. Sure, it’s meant to comfort. But what if it breeds mediocrity? Gives every half-baked writer permission to keep flooding an already packed space? Rejection becomes then a badge, not a checkpoint.
This is going to sound harsh, but I know several mediocre writers who have tons of clips and bylines at many prestigious outlets and that's because they persevere, are persistent and relentless.
And I know some very talented writers who have very little to show for it and have given up because they don't have that level of determination keeping them pushing and never giving up. I think it's a personal choice.
I gotta reiterate: Just don't think that you are "bad" because you get a "no," it could be so many things that resulted in that rejection. It doesn't mean you are worthless.
Thanks for sharing this! Rejection stings every time. Sometimes it helps to remember that no one is forcing me to do this. Other times I try to look at rejections as pure data. If for every 10-15 nos I get a yes, at least that's something... and it's the only way to get to yes. It's also okay to take a break from querying and submitting and regroup. I am fortunately to have regular client that commissions me and asks for my pitches. It's not the most prestigious pub, but the support and creativity (and nominal pay) still fills up that empty space sometimes. Moral of the story, good to know we are in it together!
Early in my writing career I was fortunate enough to be accepted by every publication I queried. But that was 25 years ago, and times have changed! I went through a period of querying agents and niche publishers but got discouraged by the steady stream of rejections, or, by the demand for extra work as a condition: to send detailed chapter summaries, or a 30 page sample - which were really just rabbit trails that led to the same place: rejection. Then came a time of entering contests -- paying the fee is like buying a lottery ticket -- which helped me to overcome the rejection phobia. Now, I publish mostly on Medium and Substack as a way to increase self-confidence. I am sitting on THREE completed books at the moment, trying to decide whether to bother looking for a publisher or just to settle for Amazon Kindle. As one contributor noted, I write because I am a writer. Maybe one day I'll publish a best-seller, buit that's not why I write.
I entered a contest at a prestigious literary journal right out of college and won first place. I knew it was never going to happen again (and it hasn't), so the successes can set up high expectations, which make the rejections even more difficult. Was it a fluke? Did I get worse? that internal monologue can be killer!
Jerry, thanks for responding! Exactly: It's not always the best thing to win so early in the game. Your experience could have been luck (although you're an excellent writer, of course!) -- and so was mine. Luck and chance play a big part. Things have become so competitive that I've heard many editors say they don't even look at new writers. Just like with the economy, the game is rigged. But not all the time. You're successful now, which encourages me. :-)
Oh, no! I hope they keep looking at new writers! Emerging writers are exciting—especially if they are eager to put in the work to make it better. I also told Jesse that I was recently putting together a personal statement/bio and saw this gap in publishing creative nonfiction and short stories and was like: They are going to think I'm not very serious about this.
Then I remembered, You were working your ass off publishing so many great writers and barely had any time to chase your own byline in other publications because you were running a magazine or a website, at one point responsible for making sure we hit a quota of 50+ pieces a day, every day! Cut yourself some slack.
Agreed, and I'll add that publications and sites should look at how they issue their rejections. I've noticed they've gotten longer and super apologetic, and make it a point to give the number of how many people submitted. Does a writer need to know that? I don't think so. We already know we're up against a lot of competition, on top of the lack of control we've got over the minds of editors or deciding committees. And while it's something of a personal thing, I also think that any writer developing thicker skin or already has it is comfortable getting a "Thanks for your work, it's not right for us at this time" type of reject. That acknowledges the effort that goes into a submission, and adds at least a little bit of an explanation as to why it wasn't accepted.
I personally like knowing how big the pool of entries is to competitive submissions. When I got accepted to a summer writing residency, my first thought was: were there only a few people who applied? Did they just want my money (since I didn't apply for a scholarship)? So the "not knowing" can be just as bad. And our brains can be our own worst critic.
This post strikes me as an act of kindness. There's so much cloaked shame around rejections, I don't think writers talk about it enough. I loved reading what these writers/editors had to say and I appreciate their wisdom.
I keep moving on. There's no time to waste. I recently had a piece rejected nine times, and it finally found a home. It's hard not to take it personally, but then again, different colors were made for different tastes. Following the guidelines of a publication does not guarantee it'll be published. Also, being part of a writing group helps. Not too long ago, a top editor said in an online class, "Submitting a piece is like going to a casino and placing a bet." I'll never forget that.
This was so helpful, Jesse! My immediate instinct with a rejection is to mentally set the piece aside and move on to something else for my peace of mind, especially if it’s one that, as in your case, I wrote with a specific outlet in mind and thought it had a good chance. After a while (sometimes weeks, months, occasionally years), I’ll go back to the piece and try to brainstorm other publications that might be a good fit and remind myself that if I still feel good about it, it’s worth sending out again just to have it in the mix.
I also subscribe to many newsletters that feature calls for submissions and try to use those as research to expand where I’m submitting my work or might submit it.
It’s easier with finished essay drafts but I once pitched an article I was so excited about, on sticker collecting, and got so many rejections I almost gave up but eventually got a yes from Glamour.
Rachel! I love all of this so much. I often do something similar, set a piece aside and then get back out there when I'm ready. I like your submission expansion idea, that's great. And your Glamour story is so inspiring. (Also, sticker collecting! I'm going to have to go find that piece to read. 😉)
I have a "Rejections are Feedback" board and I get excited every time I get to add a new icon. So far I've got three red X's up there from my first batch of book proposal queries.
Wow. This is rare.
Editors don’t usually speak from the other side like this. This is gold.
I think rejection only hits hard in two cases:
1. You’re chasing the label: money, fame, or the “I’m a writer” aesthetic.
2. You’ve poured out your guts. Shared something raw. Like telling a new partner all your trauma, only to hear: “Yeah… this isn’t gonna work.”
What bugs me is how normalized rejection has become. Pros talk about it, newbies echo it. Like it’s part of the rite. Sure, it’s meant to comfort. But what if it breeds mediocrity? Gives every half-baked writer permission to keep flooding an already packed space? Rejection becomes then a badge, not a checkpoint.
I love that you bring it up, Adam.
This is going to sound harsh, but I know several mediocre writers who have tons of clips and bylines at many prestigious outlets and that's because they persevere, are persistent and relentless.
And I know some very talented writers who have very little to show for it and have given up because they don't have that level of determination keeping them pushing and never giving up. I think it's a personal choice.
I gotta reiterate: Just don't think that you are "bad" because you get a "no," it could be so many things that resulted in that rejection. It doesn't mean you are worthless.
Thanks for sharing this! Rejection stings every time. Sometimes it helps to remember that no one is forcing me to do this. Other times I try to look at rejections as pure data. If for every 10-15 nos I get a yes, at least that's something... and it's the only way to get to yes. It's also okay to take a break from querying and submitting and regroup. I am fortunately to have regular client that commissions me and asks for my pitches. It's not the most prestigious pub, but the support and creativity (and nominal pay) still fills up that empty space sometimes. Moral of the story, good to know we are in it together!
as I like to remind people: "no" is the second best answer. but you can't get a yes without trying.
Early in my writing career I was fortunate enough to be accepted by every publication I queried. But that was 25 years ago, and times have changed! I went through a period of querying agents and niche publishers but got discouraged by the steady stream of rejections, or, by the demand for extra work as a condition: to send detailed chapter summaries, or a 30 page sample - which were really just rabbit trails that led to the same place: rejection. Then came a time of entering contests -- paying the fee is like buying a lottery ticket -- which helped me to overcome the rejection phobia. Now, I publish mostly on Medium and Substack as a way to increase self-confidence. I am sitting on THREE completed books at the moment, trying to decide whether to bother looking for a publisher or just to settle for Amazon Kindle. As one contributor noted, I write because I am a writer. Maybe one day I'll publish a best-seller, buit that's not why I write.
I entered a contest at a prestigious literary journal right out of college and won first place. I knew it was never going to happen again (and it hasn't), so the successes can set up high expectations, which make the rejections even more difficult. Was it a fluke? Did I get worse? that internal monologue can be killer!
Jerry, thanks for responding! Exactly: It's not always the best thing to win so early in the game. Your experience could have been luck (although you're an excellent writer, of course!) -- and so was mine. Luck and chance play a big part. Things have become so competitive that I've heard many editors say they don't even look at new writers. Just like with the economy, the game is rigged. But not all the time. You're successful now, which encourages me. :-)
Oh, no! I hope they keep looking at new writers! Emerging writers are exciting—especially if they are eager to put in the work to make it better. I also told Jesse that I was recently putting together a personal statement/bio and saw this gap in publishing creative nonfiction and short stories and was like: They are going to think I'm not very serious about this.
Then I remembered, You were working your ass off publishing so many great writers and barely had any time to chase your own byline in other publications because you were running a magazine or a website, at one point responsible for making sure we hit a quota of 50+ pieces a day, every day! Cut yourself some slack.
Thanks for that insight from the editing angle. I'm glad to hear that editors do care about emerging writers. I won't give up trying. :-)
Agreed, and I'll add that publications and sites should look at how they issue their rejections. I've noticed they've gotten longer and super apologetic, and make it a point to give the number of how many people submitted. Does a writer need to know that? I don't think so. We already know we're up against a lot of competition, on top of the lack of control we've got over the minds of editors or deciding committees. And while it's something of a personal thing, I also think that any writer developing thicker skin or already has it is comfortable getting a "Thanks for your work, it's not right for us at this time" type of reject. That acknowledges the effort that goes into a submission, and adds at least a little bit of an explanation as to why it wasn't accepted.
I personally like knowing how big the pool of entries is to competitive submissions. When I got accepted to a summer writing residency, my first thought was: were there only a few people who applied? Did they just want my money (since I didn't apply for a scholarship)? So the "not knowing" can be just as bad. And our brains can be our own worst critic.
This post strikes me as an act of kindness. There's so much cloaked shame around rejections, I don't think writers talk about it enough. I loved reading what these writers/editors had to say and I appreciate their wisdom.
Yes, the shame is real! and the flip side: that dopamine addiction is real! As is the need for more and more validation. I guess it's never enough?
So appreciate that, Jeanne! I totally feel the same.
So glad to be a part of this! Lots of gems here
Yes! Love your advice, Eva. Thanks for sharing it.
So many valuable insights from these incredible writers and editors. Thanks for including me in the bunch!
Thanks so much for sharing your wisdom!!